"In light of Kim Kardashian’s recent Wedding Hoopla and sudden Divorce I was contacted by WeddingChannel.com and asked a series of Wedding etiquette advice. Here is an unofficial, early edition copy of the transcript for my readers:
Q: Our Brides are curious to know, from a seasoned Wedding/Event Coordinator such as yourself, what are the proper gestures couples should make if they choose to call off their engagement, cancel an upcoming wedding, or get divorced shortly after their Wedding?
A: My advice to calling off an engagement or canceling an upcoming wedding would be to contact close family & friends or event planner 1st and enlist in some help from them to tell guests that are invited to your wedding that due to couples differences at this time they have canceled all upcoming events surrounding their wedding. Also, I would send out a post card to all guests to confirm the cancellation. If you do get a divorce shortly after your marriage I believe in good faith all wedding gifts should be returned.
Q: What advice would you give Bride’s who feel that maybe their wedding should be held off- or just canceled, and they have already invested their $$ deposits?
A: I'm going to be honest MOST vendors will consider your deposit a NON-REFUNDABLE especially if you are less then 2 months away from your event. Some vendor will consider changing the date with no or little price difference. Over all this is a case by case situation and will have to work with the each vendor. If you MUST cancel try and ask around to see if you know someone that wants to throw a party that day and can take over your venue and possibly refund you the money you gave to the venue.
Q: What do you think Kim K. and Kris H. should do with the Wedding Gifts?
A: I read on her blog that Kim is going to donate all the gifts from the wedding to a charity. I love donating and think it's an honorable thing to do and I respect her for donating. I just think all the gifts should be returned to whoever brought them and they can make the decision on who to donate it to or just return the item.
Q: What should Brides/Grooms do with Wedding Gifts before the Wedding has taken place?
A: DO NOT OPEN WEDDING GIFTS...... Typically the wedding gifts are opened after the wedding & when the couple if back from the honeymoon.
Q: Kris Jenner has advised Kim K. not to give back the ring. What do you think about that? When should Bride’s return the ring to the Groom, and does it matter how much the ring cost?
A: If you are NOT married you are required by law to return the ring. So with that said to most women I would say JUST GIVE THE RING BACK especially if you were married less then a year. Now if you were married for years KEEP the ring you earned it. In this situation with Kim K and the the ring considering the ring is worth $2million (although Kris Jenner insists that the ring is half of that price. I find that amusing considering she didn't deny the $2million when her daughter got the ring) I think it should be returned she has enough money and is not hurting for funds and to keep the peace in my opinion JUST RETURN THE RING.
Q: Does the couple have any obligation to write a letter to their Wedding guests? Should they remain silent?
A:Yes, address your guests let them know what is going on, thank them for their support and ask for some time as you adjust to this transition in your life. People just want a simple explanation so they don't feel taken advantage of.
Closing: Overall breakups are the worst things to go through in life. Change is completely challenging for most people and to add public scrutiny into the mix only elevates it to extreme measures.After reading Kim's letter to her fans she was overwhelmed by the roller coaster that she was on and didn't know when to get off. I respect her for calling it off and facing the music and addressing her fans. Is she right for calling it off so soon? Did she give it a fighting chance? Was this just a publicity stunt? These are questions that are we are seeing over and over again, my respond would be we are not here to judge we did not walk in her shoes we don't know what really happened. In life we all make mistakes and to her this is a big lesson to listen to her gut instincts and to follow her heart. I believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe this happened in the public eye to help couples that are going through THE HOOPLA of a wedding to take a step back and realize that your NOT just jumping into a wedding you are jumping into a marriage that is till death do you part. After the cake has been eaten, the flowers are dead, the Thank You cards are written & that dress is in a box in your closet the only thing left is that person that you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. In my heart of hearts there are no mistakes in life the only mistakes is not learning and growing from the obstacles that you are facing or have faced.
Q: Diana, it was so nice catching up. Thank you for squeezing us in your busy schedule! I understand your busy preparing for another Wedding this Saturday. Good luck and stay in touch!
A: Thank you for the opportunity. Anytime.”
Brides jumping into Weddings, Not Marriages
By Diana Sahakian
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